Tired Of Doing It All Alone

The past few weeks have been really hard. My son's diabetes is far from in control. My daughter is suffering from Osgood Schlatter's and is on crutches for at least the next 6 weeks. She's upset about having to miss out on her cheer leading and next week's homecoming game. I am struggling to keep up with all my responsibilities to them, the financial burdens, and take care of myself in the process. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade my kids for anything in the world, and most of the time I'm glad I don't have to share them with their fathers. I hate to be away from my kids. It's just that sometimes, I wish they could help relieve some of the stress by taking them to their games or doctor's appointments, or give them pep talks when they're down. Anything!
These dead beats think that just because they pay a few dollars a month (and I do mean a very few), then their responsibilities are over. They forget that I didn't make them by myself and that there is more to having children than paying a measly little $100 or $200 per month. What about all the times they get sick, or upset, or just need a dad around? Even an occasional phone call would be nice.
In the case of my daughter, her dad's family doesn't even know about her. He's hid her from his mother and his wife for almost 14 years now. If you count the 39 weeks that I was pregnant, it has been over 14 years. She is slowly letting some of her family know about her herself. She recently sent her little sister an email on Facebook wishing her a happy birthday. She told her older brother that she's his sister a couple years ago. I think it's pretty sad that SHE has to do it. Her dad should have stepped up a long time ago. He's more concerned with keeping up his "appearance" than being a dad to his daughter. It's his loss really. She's an amazing young woman. She's a straight A student, on her school cheer squad, absolutely beautiful, super talented,  and has such a great personality. Anyone should be proud to have her in their life, much less as their daughter. I know I am.
My son's dad is another story. He wants absolutely nothing to do with his dad. He knows what a low life his dad is. He's seen him ONCE in 9 years, and that was only for about 15 minutes while he was in the hospital close to his dad's hometown. He had just been diagnosed with type 1 diabetes and all his dad could spare was 15 minutes. He hasn't even called since to check on him. My son is also an absolutely amazing young man. He's smart, handsome, oh so funny, loving, talented, and the most compassionate and charismatic boy I've ever met. He has more wit than men 40 years his senior. He's definitely mama's boy! So again, it's his dad's loss.
Both my children are a blessing. It's just too bad that their sorry POS dad's don't know that.

It's Football Season Baby!

It's that time of year again! Football season has officially kicked off. I love watching my kids do their things on the ball field. Unfortunately, this year my son was unable to play football due to his diabetes. However, my daughter is kickin it hard out there. 

Yes, she made the school cheer squad for the second year. It's a good thing the cheerleaders are pretty good, since the 8th grade football team leaves a lot to be desired. I couldn't be prouder of her. I'll be glad to get her uniforms paid off though. Hard to believe how much that little bit of material can cost!!! It's unreal! She deserves every penny paid for them. She does so well with her academics, and works her butt off for the squad, that I believe she earns the cost of her uniforms and more. She practices during school all week, has practices on Tuesdays after school at a gym, then has games on Thursday nights. The hardest thing for me is that sometimes I can't afford to go to her games. I know it bothers her that all the other girls have their parents there, and she's the only one that doesn't. She never says anything about it though. She tries hard not to put my stress on me over it, because she knows I beat myself up over it every time I have to miss a game.

We actually had a great time this past week. I was able to borrow enough money for my son and I to go to my daughter's game Thursday night. It was great seeing her out there even if the football team did lose miserably. Then, Friday night we went to the high school game. Cheyenne got to go for free with the cheer squad if she wore her jersey, and my dad paid for Lakota and me to go. Again, the football team lost miserably, but it was still fun just knowing my kids were enjoying themselves. I spent the largest part of Friday with my son and not one, but TWO 8th grade cheerleaders!!! Can you possibly imagine what that was like? There was never a dull or QUIET moment (especially when they started sucking on helium balloons)! The things we parents do just to see a smile on the faces of our kids!!!!!!!

We don't get to do much as a family due to finances, but when we do, we do it up right!